Filipinos are known to value our families much more than those from other nations. This is evident in the way we try to take good care of our elderly and the efforts many of us make to give our children the best lives possible.
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| Filipinos are known to highly value family photo credit: Imagefully.com |
This 2016, Pru Life UK launched Asia’s first Relationship Index, a study across ten (10) Asian countries that measured peoples’ satisfaction with their primary relationships and what can be done to improve them. These pertain to relationships with partners, children, family, and friends.
Results showed that the Philippines ranked second (next to Vietnam) out of 10 Asian countries in terms of relationship fulfillment with a satisfaction score of 79/100. This means Filipinos’ primary relationships, on average, fulfill 79% of their desired relationship needs.
“Relationships are at the heart of our business. We know our customers buy our products to protect the people and relationships they care most about. We also know that good relationships are crucial to our happiness and good health,” explained Pru Life UK CEO and President Antonio de Rosas during the Index’s media launch held in Dusit Thani, Makati City.
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| Q and A moderated by event host Tonipet Gaba with Antonio de Rosas, Rose Fausto, Marie Lee of IPSOS, and Gizelle Villareal-Camua of Pru Life UK |
According to survey respondents, they appreciate partners who enjoy doing things with them (84%), respect their individuality (84%), are honest with them (82%), make each other laugh and smile (79%), and are easy to get along with (78%).
Filipinos likewise express their love for each other more than anyone else in Asia: 87% tell their partners “I love you” once a week; 68% say so every day. Also, 87% of Filipinos are most likely to share intimate moments with their partners while 89% are most likely to laugh with their partners at least once a week.
As to having arguments, 35% of Filipino couples said they argue at least weekly, with money as the most likely reason. With 46% of couples confirming they fight about finances, almost half of married men (48%) say they make most of the big financial decisions. Humorously enough, only 13% of married women agree with them. Conversely, when it comes to day-to-day spending, 57% of women say they are in control of this area, but only 34% of men agree.
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| relationship conflicts photo credit: clip art kid |
Next to money, 41% argue about lack of attention with 37% admitting their partners spend too much time on their phone or computer. Technology’s impact has moreover resulted in 24% saying their partners prefer using their phones instead of being intimate, although 94% reveal they would consider giving up technology for one day just so they can spend more time with other people.
Rose Fres Fausto, a bestselling author and finance and relationship coach, observed from the findings that although Filipinos are more expressive, we also quarrel more but that is not actually a bad thing. She cited Dr. John Gottman’s Balance Theory of Relationships that suggests a little bit of negativity is necessary for healthy partnerships. Balance, however does not mean fifty-fifty. According to Gottman, the magic ratio is 5:1 (five happy moments are needed to balance out one conflict) for a relationship to remain stable.
“Money is a common source of conflict. So we have to make sure we have shared money values,” added Fausto. “These have to be discussed in a healthy way. Talk about it before getting married to see how your money values compare. After all, marriage is the biggest contract you will ever sign.” Meanwhile, in married couples in the Philippines, 76% plan their finances together and 84% often talk about their future plans.
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| marriage is the biggest contract you will ever sign photo credit: pinterest |
Despite arguments about money, Filipino adults remain generous in providing some financial support to at least one other person. Unfortunately, this is probably why they are also highly likely to rely on family members for emergency support: 80% think that their parents will provide for them in case of emergencies, while 67% say that other family members would do so.
As to conflicts resulting to technology abuse, Fausto recommends setting parameters on gadget use such as prohibiting mobile phones during family dinners or stopping work on one’s laptop by 10PM.
“Filipinos still believe in forever,” asserted Fausto. “The launch of this Index brings to our awareness the importance of relationships. It’s a matter of assessing where we are now so we can do something such as changing features in your life and trying to figure out how to bridge the gaps.”
Relationships with Children
Filipinos are likewise found to enjoy strong ties with their children (59/100) than any other country in the region: 90% say they give parental advice at least once a week and 43% believe that it is important their children listen to what they say.
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| Filipinos have strong ties with our children photo credit: pinterest |
Filipino parents also put a lot of emphasis on companionship with their children, 75% of whom deem it important that they enjoy things together. In fact, 85% say their kids make them laugh and smile and that their offspring express their love for them; 79% enjoy doing things together; 76% frequently interact with each other; and 87% say they are highly involved in helping their children study every week.
With children also engrossed in gadget use, Fausto recommends allowing technology-related discussions during family meals. “Even if you prohibit mobile phone use, talk about an interesting online video, for instance, to spark conversations.”
She also advises discovering how to tweak the “rules” depending on each family member’s needs. “Critique each other constructively and, as you get to know each other better, learn to deal with each individual. You can also engage your spouse and children in annual family goal settings and quarterly assessments.”
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| how much is too much gadget use? decide as a family and change your habits! photo credit: Telegraph UK |
Takeaways
De Rosas affirmed that the findings from the research are both cause for celebration and concern. “Celebration, in that we Filipinos value relationships grounded on important attributes such as partnership, companionship, respect, and honesty. However, gaps are also present in the level of relationship satisfaction with family demands, financial uncertainty, and technology causing rising tension and stress.”
“One of the gaps we see there is couples fighting over money. So we use our distributors to educate new clients about financial literacy. We don’t push products but help them first to figure out a needs analysis,” he described.
For instance, he portrays that young married couples have to protect their income first by purchasing life insurance that would pay for their financial needs in case they get sick. When the income goes higher, then they should start thinking about savings, children’s education, and retirement.
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| learning to manage money better can be rewarding photo credit: Northern Money UK |
“If you’re more knowledgeable about all these things and if both couples are focused on their goals, you get to bridge the gap and avoid arguing about money as much,” reasoned de Rosas. “Through the Pru Life UK 2016 Relationship Index, we want to help Filipinos understand their relationships better so they can make them more rewarding.”
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